John Mortonson's Funeral

by Ambrose Bierce

The businessman, John Mortonson, was dead. He had finished his last deal and left his company to other people.

His body rested in a very expensive wooden coffin, covered with glass. If he’d still been alive, he’d have been happy. His face looked handsome under the glass. It was smiling a little because his death was painless. The plan was for his friends to come at 2 o’clock to show respect – even though he didn’t now need any friends or respect. Every few minutes, one or two members of his family walked up to his coffin, and cried above his motionless body. This didn’t help them and it did not help John Mortonson … but death and reason are two different things.

At nearly 2 o’clock, his friends began to arrive. After comforting the members of his family, they sat down. Then the widow, whose crying filled the room, walked up to the coffin. After looking down at the face of her dead husband, she was taken to a seat next to her daughter.

His best friend began to speak sadly about the life of the dead man. While he talked, the crying of his friends and family sounded like the rising and falling of the sea. Outside, the dark day became even darker – a cloud covered the sky and some rain began to fall. It seemed like the whole world was crying for John Mortonson.

When his friend finished speaking, four men walked over to the coffin to carry it outside. But before they could pick it up, the widow threw herself over her dead husband, crying unstoppably. Her husband’s best friend came over and helped her calm down… but as he was taking her away, she looked one more time at the handsome face under the glass and the body seemed to move. She threw up her arms and with a loud cry, she fell backwards, her eyes closed.

Everybody in the room came up and all of them were looking down at the dead face of John Mortonson. Suddenly, a noise came from the coffin.

The people turned away, feeling shocked, frightened and disturbed, even sick. A man, trying to escape too quickly from the horrible sight, fell against the coffin – so hard that he knocked it over. It fell to the floor, and the glass broke into many pieces.

When the coffin opened, John Mortonson's cat came out. It jumped lazily to the floor. Then it sat up, quietly wet its lips and walked calmly out of the room.